One Piece: A munted Tale
by I'mma Genius
Summary: A re-imagining of One Piece, features Ace's twin, mermaid haki wielding Nami, early use of Haki (because Haki makes everything better), and lots of little nudges to the plot here and there to create something entirely different. Luffy/Nami Evil overlord fun killing marine sister. rated m because the manga was vulgar way before I got to it. I only made it worse.


**A re-imagining of One Piece, features Ace's twin, a Luffy who wasn't dropped onto his head as a child and lots of little nudges to the plot here and there to create something that will probably end within five chapters.**

Prologue: Origins

Once upon a time, there was an infamous pirate that cross the world in search of gold and ancient truths. Known only as the alias Gold Roger, his deing words sparked off a new age of piracy.

"I have gathered everything in this world and hidden them at One Piece."

That man died with a smile on his face, forever dissolving into the murky mist of uncertainty. No known family, his crew scattered across the four winds, all his possessions hidden away at the end of an impossible trail.

A trail so dangerous that it was thought of lunacy to pursue it. Never the less the world entered a new era, as the sea's brimmed with pirates and the World Government hopeless to stop the rising tide of a new world order. Now the side that finds the ancient knowledge locked away inside Gold Roger's One Piece will rule the world.

Ten years After Gold Roger's execution

On a sleepy little island in East Blue called simply Dawn Island by its inhabitants, a notorious group of pirates was docked. Four Children in that town were so entertaining, that their captain had decided to stay there for the past year. The crew, who were all now familiar with the chaotic four children and their captains strange fixation on them that they had long decided that a Pub was the best suited place for them to pass their time.

"Let's Drink up and calibrate!"

"To Luffy's craziness" a mouthful was downed collectively before the glass was once again raised, "And to our greatness!"

"Ga Ha Ha Ha ha, Drink! Drink!"

The Captain's evil plan, you see, was to convert the poor innocent children into Pirates.

"I want to be a Pirate too!" Monkey D. Luffy shouted, one of the four victims the Captain had chosen.

"BAKA," yelled the female victim of the four, smashing her Kendo stick onto Luffy's head. What would your Grandpa say if you became a pirate?"

All four of them sat on stools together, the girl on the far right, Luffy between her and her fraternal twin, and another boy on the other far side. Three out of the four of them blissfully falling into the evil Pirate's trap.

The fourth however, remained tantalizingly out of reach of the pirate captain's brainwashing. A frustrating thing for the temptee, since she was the daughter of the last man he called Captain. Although out of the four of them, he should have expected at least one of them to want to be something other than a pirate. The fact that it was the spitting image of Gold Rouge, member of his former Captain's crew and his lover just irked him.

"But being a Marine is boring," whined the three boys simultaneously, and the evil pirate chuckled, three out of four wasn't so bad. Now he just had to sweeten the deal a little.

"Oi, Oi, Oi, you four," he chuckled, "you three are too weak to be pirates anyway."

"WHAT," all three boys shouted, only to be smashed on the head by the fourth member's Kendo stick.

"Stop shouting," she growled, her trusty stick poised in the air.

"Beside I doubt an anchor like Luffy could become a Pirate," said the Captain.

"As Long as I stay on board the ship I'll be fine," Luffy shouted, scrunching up his face and glaring at the captain. "Besides my fighting is pretty good too!"

The captain snorted.

"Oi," shouted Luffy, his arms crossing with a huff.

"Sorry, I just find it hard to imagine a ten year old to be good at fighting," he replied easily.

Monkey D. Luffy glared, "Oi, I can beat Ace and Sabo, I can even beat Felicia and her Kendo stick."

The other three all glared grunted, and pelted him on the head, but training (read surviving) with his grandfather had long toughened his skin to ivory. The evil Captain nodded, "so you think your strong Luffy," and for once the man looked at him without any hint of amusement. "Strong enough to be a pirate," at that moment the Pub door opened with a batter.

"Excuse me!" grunted the rather ugly thing that strutted through the door, followed by a company of equally unappealing thugs.

"So this is the Pirates I've been told about," and the unknown man walked unheeded to the counter, setting his hand down onto it, glancing at the Captain and the four youths as he did so. "You look pretty dumb to me!"

The red-haired Captain smiled, "and it seems, Luffy, that the perfect demonstration has arrived for me."

"Huh –"

The man in the straw hat stood up, "watch closely you four, your about to see the source of all strength!"

"Huh, what are you –" the Pirate Captain's left hand clenched, a dull metallic shine appearing.

"Haki, it exists in three forms, The Will to Win, the Will to Live, and the Will to Conquer," the arm rose back into the beginnings of a punch.

"The Will to Win, the art of moulding every thought in your body into a single unstoppable truth," the Pirate's punch was released, and the bandit smashed through the floor. "It grants the user temporary immunity in the form of armour."

The rest of the bandits sprang into action, pistols and swords being raised.

"The Will to Live, the art of focusing your mind on a single objective," bullets and swords flew, but the Captain dodged them all effortlessly, "surviving."

"The third one, only found in those few people capable of shrugging off all impossibilities and inpedements between their goal. The Will to Conquer. Found in the brief few who would circumvent death to achieve their goals," the Pirate exclaimed, as a invisible force shot out from him. Knocking out the bandits.

As they fell over, Luffy's eyes developed into the Star Shine kekkai Genki, and the evil Pirate scratched the back of his head as he faced away from them.

"So you see you four –"

"Oi, this ones mine, piss off," growled one of them, and the Evil Pirate frowned.

"Feli (pronounced Feely), I want another one –" the Evil Pirate frowned further, turning just as Felicia pushed an entire fruit into her mouth.

And then the Evil Pirate shrieked, grabbing ahold of Felicia, shaking her viciously by the shoulders, he yelled as his crew opened up the now empty crates, "Felicia," he yelled, "tell me you didn't eat what was in those crates."

"Well, yea…" Felicia mumbled, realising she was in trouble, "isn't that desert, it tasted pretty bad anyway."

"You weren't supposed to eat that," the Pirate yelled, taking a hold of her shoulders again, "which one did you eat, the Kuki Kuki Devil Fruit or the Gomu Gomu Devil Fruit –" but Felicia's squeal cut him off.

"Uh – I ate a devil fruit," she screamed, running around frantically. "I'm gonna become a devil, I'm gonna become a devil, I'm gonna –" the Captain's hand grabbed held of the back of her shirt. Lifting her back onto her seat.

"You're not gonna become a devil Filicia," he deadpanned, "a devil fruit grants the power specific to that certain fruit. The Kuki Kuki fruit was the one your father had, and let him become King of the Pirates. Which is why I really hope you don't have it," he glare at her, "since you want to become a marine."

"That's right and don't you forget it you no good, low-life pir-" said Pirate placed a hand on her head.

"That's cute that you think that," the Captain sighed, "Oh Captain Roger, its so horrible. You're daughter's wants to be, be, be a…" anime tears gushed down his face, "proper lady."

"SHANKS," Felicia yelled, jumping up to smash him with her Kendo stick, only for the air around it to shimmer, and form a second invisible, sharper and stronger sword made into a chainsaw by the wind swept in the vacuum left by the Kendo stick.

Dodging it swiftly, Shanks, let out a faint whistle as the chainsaw of air smashed straight through the shelves of the bar. Luffy's jaw dropped comically wide, while Ace moaned and Sabo fainted in shock.

After a moment of silence, everyone let out an ear-piercing cry anguish.

"Why does she get it-"

"I thought we were going to make Ace and Luffy fight over it."

"I thought we were living her the Gomu Gomu so no guy would touch her –"

Felicia let out another enraged shriek, and the small part of her mind that wanted to make her dad proud by becoming a pirate left that afternoon. She demolished the Pub, smashing everyone but Luffy and Shanks. One the proud user of a permanent Logia type Devil fruit; the other, unwilling to face the indignity of being beat to a pulp by a girl and her wooden stick.

Unfortunately it may have been easier on him if Shanks had just let himself be beaten. Then he wouldn't have been roped into training three budging pirates and their handler for the next year.

"Stupid, stupid, idiot," screamed a small child, her hands thumping the edge of the bed of linen and clothe. Tears poured down her face, glistening her screwed up face.

Gently, the massive and living carving of red flesh on the table raised his hand. wiping the tears away from the small child.

"What have I told you about wearing skirts in Human form my little princess of the sea," it croaked, wheezing and sputtering blood onto his chin.

"B – but D-d-d-d-daddy," and tears burst from her eyes, "w-why do I-I have to," abruptly her face leapt into the sleave of his shirt. The arm dewarfing her face as she spewed tears into it.

"Oh, but the Human's will think your strange if you go round swimming without anything to cover your beautiful little tush."

The small child blushed, "why would they lo-look at my tush –"

"Bahahahahaha," the giant of a Fish laughed, "why wouldn't they want to look at something as beautiful as you. You have the same fanny that drew me to your mother. And I certainly wasn't able to resist that human waltz she did. despite being both a Human and a Marine."

"Ma-marine, Human," yelped Nami, her face coating in anger, "my mother's a –"

"One of the most dangerous marine's to sail the seas," coughed the dyeing Fishman, "I knew as soon as she stepped onto my boat she was going to lead me around by my prick –" Nami giggled, "and I was right. She bonked me, stole from me, and then blew up half my fleet."

Nami's eyes rounded, the situation forgotten.

"Wha –"

"And It's just my unlucky fortune that you inherited her nimble fingers – Oh I remember what hose fingers could d –"

A Fishman off to the side coughed abruptly, and the dying Fishman stopped suddenly. His voice oddly fearfull, "but I shouldn't have said that. Nami, crew, if I find out you've told anyone about this I'll ensure you end up on the wrong end of a fishing line."

Nami giggled again, as the voice that coughed spoke up again, "Captain, the blood trans –"

"NEVER," the man suddenly roared, "I'll never take the blood of a human!"

"But dad, you just said my mum –"

"I don't care, I'll never do it, I refuse to do it," and then the Fishmen's eyes turned devious, "unless Nami voulnteers to go stay with her mother."

"WHAT," Nami screamed, "You bastard, how can you make me go stay with her, she's Human, she's a – a Marine!"

"Yea, how can you make poor Nami stay with a marine," the surrounding crew shouted.

"Men, when you finally mate with a women, you'll learn that the only rule you should follow is to keep them in the perfect state of bliss," the Captain yelled gallantly, "you should not under any circumstances make them angry. Ever, which is why I'm sending Nami back know. Before anymore damage is done."

"Damage," yelped Nami indignantly a sword sunddenly appearing in her hand, Haki glistening around her sweetly dangerous form, "how exactly am I damaged?"

They all abruptly looked down at her legs, the bare, clove free legs.

A tip mark developing on her head, her sword un-expectantly swept out in several violent arcs, and large bruises developed on the head of each Fishman.

"Perverts," she declared, her job done.

The Captain chuckled, "Nami, he said, putting it on thick, "I'm dying," his hacking increased in volume, "Nami, I don't think I'll live if you don't promise to go to your mother."

The crew looked at him.

"And promise to wear a skirt."

Nami, falling for it completely, jumped up to hug her dad again, "f-fine, i'll do it, and large bulbus tears fell comically from her eyes. but don't expect me to wear panties."

"YATTA," the crew yelled, as their Captain's health suddenly improved slightly.

"BASTARDS," shrieked an enraged little mermaid.

"RUN AWAY," yelled the crew, leaving as they were chased by an enraged pantless child into the village proper. The townsfolk muttered as they passed.

Back in the small cabin, the voice of the cougher stepped forward, revealing a large blue, shark tooth bearing Fishman.

"She's getting better at Fishman Karate every day," he muttered, one hand rubbing the bump on his head. The other clutching a bag of blood, "why on earth you had to give her a sword I'll never know."

Chuckled, the Captain eyed the bag distastefully, "are you sure that's going to work," he muttered, "Two species' blood types matching doesn't seem possible."

"Well, technically we aren't two separate species. Fishmen and mermaids are simply the descendants of ancient Haki masters living at the depths of the ocean. Over time their constant use of the armament Haki to survive led to them taking on some physical characteristics of some fish species."

Snorting to himself, the Captain let the crew member roll up his sleave and inject the needle.

"And if I remember it correctly it was you who seduced the poor Marine Captain away from her job."

The captain snorted again.

"That doesn't stop her from annoying me about it," the captain smiled suddenly, "but at least she was pleased enough to keep coming back for seconds."

"and the fact she won't drag you down to the oceans floor and have her way with you before she guts you helps too," the crew man interjected.

The both shivered.

"I can't imagine my little girl doing that," the Captain muttered.

"Really," exclaimed the Fishman, "you can't imagine your daughter stalking a man for a year before eventually coming to his, I mean her, needs and dragging him down to the ocean floor and using bubbly coal to have her way with him for countless hours while his crew wait in the Marine ships custody while their captain _conquers, _the marine's captain. Only to be surprised when Fisher Tiger and Red Hot bell-mere emerge, both still finishing their last round."

Fisher Tiger grunts.

"It will be a good day when Nojiko and Nami decide to take an interest in boys. And Justice will finally prevail," said the crewmember with a lethal glint in his eye.

"Shut up and fix me Jinbei before I decide to send you instead of Arlong to protect Nami and Nojiko while they're at Cocoyashi Island."


End file.
